ive been thinking too much lately...and ive also been doing too many things at once and i have my priorities all backwards too...priorities confuse the hell outta me cuz no matter which one i look at, they all seem so important, and i cant get rid of any...i jus cant make everyone happy so when that happens i just make myself happy...which always causes problems...but it causes problems either way...my parents think that anything i do that isnt school-related is just a waste of time...but i have promises to keep...for people who mean so much to me...and when i screw up and make 1 little bad decision, it is a big deal...i lied to someone about something a long time ago...and it was really bothering me...so last night i told her the truth about something that happened a really long time ago...and she didnt handle it well...now i feel like ive lost something that has meant so much to me for so long...and why did i have to create this mess at a time when i have so much other stuff going on that i dont even have time to talk about it with her? why did i lie in the first place? i have so much work to do but i cant do it cuz i cant stop thinking...once again, now that school has started, im back to having far more commitments than i can handle...why do i always do this to myself?...and at the end of the day, no matter how much i get done, i feel like i have accomplished nothing...i can spend an hour doing ecology homework and learn nothing that i didnt learn at sullins in 7th grade biology...or i can spend that hour talking on the phone and i might brighten someones day, and i might solve someones problem, and that really makes me feel good, but long term, it accomplishes nothing...or i can spend that hour doing a geeky tutorial, and i will learn something new and useful, but i still cant get a job because i get no academic credit for it, even tho i learn far more than i learn in the process than getting some damn IB certificate...or i can spend the time working for money, but then i am learning nothing and im not having fun...and every time that i meet someone new and start to talk to them, i end up letting them get either too attached or too expectant of me, and then they cant handle not talking to me when i get busy...and then theres the fact that when i get "busy" i cant even stay on task for more than 5 minutes without getting distracted...unless i take a Concerta, but then i lose my personality and i become shy and quiet...damn...ill be truely amazed if anyone reads all this...but ranting always makes me feel better...maybe now ill be able to concentrate on my homework...

leigh ann and ashley, if u actually have enough patience to read all that crap, dont go and blame urself...none of its ur fault

katie and josh got into a car accident...katie broke her collar bone and toe and josh broke his leg really bad...the accident wasnt his fault...shes ok, but she has to quit band...theres a new thing on itunes where u can buy movies on the itunes music store and watch them on the ipod...very cool...and u can buy extra games for it too...its been so long since ive practiced juggling that im nowhere near as good as i used to be...im half way thru the 6th harry potter book...i got to busy to keep reading after like the first few chapters...im also half way thru an Anne Rice book...i really wanna finish them both but i have to read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for my TOK class (good book) and 1984 for English...im not keeping up with the new music anymore...so everyones like "stupid DJ"...i have a half-finished MySQL database of normalized sudokus that i havent had time to finish...i have so many half-finished projects...i made a lot of progress in the summer, but its amazing how quickly i have ended up being bogged down again...i really gotta go do my hw now...

if u live in virginia and u support gay mairrage, go out and vote on November 7th, 2006...they are going to ask that on the ballot...and notice that u dont hear anything about it...liberals (who are more likely to support gay mairrage) have always had lower voter turnouts...they dont want everyone to know that gay marriage will be on the ballot because that will increase the voter turnout of the gays and liberals...that kinda pisses me off...so go out and vote...for or against gay mairrage, just go and vote...no im not gay but i do support gay marriage...homophobes annoy the crap outta me...theyre all a bunch of closet-case gay people anyway...but homophobes remind me of the way that christians treat non-christians, the way that americans treat foreigners, and the way that football players treat goths & geeks

talladega nights is a redneck movie...i went to see it with
jaydee...the movie was really funny but the bullshit steriotype of
french people really annoyed me...it inspired a long angry ranting in my journal entry for English class about how Amurrkans always steriotype other countries:

Something that really annoys me is the way that most Americans think of other coutries. For example, all Austrialians werstle crocodiles, all Chinese people do martial arts, all Africans are too poor to afford shoes, and all Germans want to take over the world and call Jews. The latest addition to this list is that all Muslims are terrorists. Many Americans seem to think that America is the only country where you can't be executed for having the wrong religion, and that only Americans and Europeans can afford cars and computers. This is always coming from the people that have never been to another country. They say "Go to another country? No way! I'm not wearing a turban or a veil and pretending to be a muslim to avoid religious persecution! Anyway, airplanes are too scary. They have terrorists." We are from "the land of the brave" yet we are afraid of airplanes. So instead we sit around and watch movies like "Talladega Nights" about how wierd foreigners are. Every country has national pride, but Americans are arrogant and ignorant. Of course, I will not stereotype all Americans. There are some Americans who have travelled or would like to, and some Americans do understand and respect other countries and cultures.

i wrote that for a journal entry in Mrs Propst's english class...but anyway i have been to france 3 times and i have met lots of french people and i have never met anyone like that in france...french people are really just like us exept that they speak french and they are less arrogant and less wasteful...well anyway...i think im done now..."you made that grace your bitch!" that was halairious...i mean the movie was actually pretty funny but the french thing jus pissed me off...but ANYWAY...umm...i have chocolate ...im gonna go to bed...

jus finished watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (dont make fun of me, i had never seen it before...but i know i'm a million times as humble as thou art)...then of course i had to research it cuz it said it was "based on a true story"...bullshit...as usual...it amazes me how people will believe anything that says "based on a true story"...this is from wikipedia:

Contrary to popular belief, the film does not depict factual events, but instead was (like the films Psycho, Deranged and The Silence of the Lambs) loosely inspired by Ed Gein, who, while he did wear human skin, acted alone and did not use a chainsaw. Those who believe the film was based on actual events will try to back up their statements by referring to similar events in Texas, none of which had anything to do with the film. Although the film's opening would have one believe that the events are factual, it is merely a scare tactic, called the false document technique, to frighten the audience. (The opening voice-over is performed by John Larroquette.). Libraries in Burkburnett, Texas and nearby Wichita Falls regularly receive requests for copies of newspaper articles related to the false actual events.

so, in other words, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is NOT a true story!...damn sheep...but it was a really good movie...but kat told me the 1974 version is so bad its halarious...i dont think leatherface is as cool as jigsaw tho...cuz leatherface was too stupid and clumsy...jigsaw knew wat the hell he was doin...he had a more original motive too...and the plot of the saw movies was just better overall...

anyway...im really fuckin pissed right now...dont wanna talk about it...umm...leigh ann wont answer her phone and i wanna talk to her cuz she makes me happy...ashley makes me happy too but its too late to call her ...so i have no one to ramble to...thats when i tend to ramble on here...this just brightened my day:

u can just tell that was made with pivot...thats such a fun program...i know im a dork

steve erwin is dead!   

<-- someone is gonna get rich offa that...i wish it was me...u can buy them here:
www.ibuzz.co.uk
u hook that thing into ur ipod...and that dildo will vibrate in time with the music

they changed the skate city schedule around a bunch...the main difference is Saturday nights:

i got new skates:

i love them...i photoshopped some random hot girl from chicago that wanted me to photoshop her a few weeks ago

her eyes are actually brown

i bummed this off jordan's xanga:

wow, i love it!